Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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