her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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