i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
