If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
