Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
