mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I need to sanitize my soul.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
