is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
