i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
