yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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