hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
