We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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