someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
