People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize