We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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