Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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