I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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