I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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