So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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