the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
