...so i touched it.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize