Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It's shark week go big or go home
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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