Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
whose ass print is on the piano?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
