my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
