she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
