He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
