That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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