5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
