Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just cropdusted the office
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Ketchup is God's man juice
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
