There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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