your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
