Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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