paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
