I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
