omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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