Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
