people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
