I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
