sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
