What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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