His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I need a beard to bite.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
