youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
