If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
