those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize