drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We don't watch enough power rangers
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
