If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
