drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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