im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize