ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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