How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
