At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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