Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he shaved USA in his pubs
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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