Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
