I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
