Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
