nut hugger
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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