im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I need to align my fucking chakras
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
