Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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