You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
